The List

I am terrible at planning, at deciding, and at setting goals.   Every concrete, definitive answer feels like a shackle, limiting my mobility.  What if I decide on this restaurant but everyone has a terrible experience?  What if I plan this trip but then I get sick?  What if I set this goal and then I don't meet it or change my mind about it?  It's just so much easier to allow other people to decide, to allow things to happen randomly, to just duck or grab each opportunity as it presents itself.

I'd say that this is very zen, except that it's not coming from a place of oneness with the Universe and acceptance of all possibilities, it's coming from a place of cowardice.  If I didn't make the call, if I didn't set out to do this, then I am not culpable when bad things happen!  Which is - not to sound uncouth - total bullshit.

In my quest to at least attempt to be more in control of my life, I sat down and wrote out my goals.  This didn't come easily to me at all.  In fact, I'd been trying to do it since February, when Mike and I had a conversation about how things are more easily achieved when one writes them down.  It did finally happen, though, and now I am fully prepared for the question, "What is your five-year plan?"

Ok, being honest here... that's not actually the sort of thing people ask me.  People ask me, "How did you get your hair that color?" or "Where have you been these past six months?" or "What the hell are you ON?"  Everyone assumes that my future plans are the same as my present plans: have hilarious adventures, roll with the punches, try to avoid arson charges.  I do rather like this state of being, it is true.  Hopefully having goals will not interfere with it too badly.  (And also, I do not have money for bail if I catch it with the arson charges.)

All of that was a giant lead-in to basically say that one of my immediate goals was make up a quasi-bucket list.  Yes, one of the things that I decided to put on my list of things to achieve was a list of things to achieve.  Meta, right?  But bucket lists are generally a set list of things you feel like you have to do before you die, so my bucket list is easy:

1. Everything ever.

I am not known for moderation!  So instead of trying to do everything all at once (which will lead to me doing nothing because where do you start with everything?) I decided to pick 10 random things that I really want to do, then work on crossing them off.  Once I scratch one thing off, I can replace it with something new.

I don't consider any of the following "goals," because they don't have a set date of completion.  These are just things that I would be really, really disappointed to shuffle off of this mortal coil before doing.  In no particular order I want to:

1. Visit Rome, specifically the Pantheon.
2. Learn some sort of partnered dancing.
3. Visit all 50 states.  (I hope to spend more time in Hawaii or California than, say, Idaho, though.)
4. Eat at one of these restaurants.  (Maybe not the one in Denmark... I don't care that it's #1, I've heard things about Danish food!)
5. Learn a martial art.  
6. Go out to sea.
7. Get my tarot cards read in Jackson Square.
8. Snowboard.
9. Attend a large music festival. (Lollapalooza, Bonnaroo, Cochella, etc.)
10. Hike a 14er.

It's a pretty good start, I think.  Once I manage to completely replace everything on this original list, then I will probably go on and say with some confidence that my life is 100% more awesome than it was when I made the list.  Which is an astronomical amount of awesome for one life.

I am tempted to go start working toward crossing things off, but it is 4am.  There should be more adventures to be had in the wee hours of the morning, really.